My days and nights seem to mingel together. One upon the other. Joining and re joining, all the familar passions that I once clung to are empty. The drugs no longer bring me comfort, only regret and pain. Former friendships those bitter sweet memories that compelled me to strive on are nothing more then flickering reels of an almost finished movie but to what end? The answer to that question eludes me. I ask myself time and again What do I hope to gain from this life. Many people I have lost and many more slipped away and I find myself sitting here in the darkness waiting wanting escape to a new life. A fresh start, a do over if you will. How does one achive such a thing? I know not, Hope is not lost to me but may give way to change. Im sorry for what seem to be ramblings that make no sense, to none but myself. A good purging of the soul might help me find the answers I seek. The computer my tool of confession. This journal my sympatheic priest. I fell the other night to any who may take offense I am sorry. After seeming to find my path a clear cut way to a bright future I once again picked up the pipe, the rock and smoked myself to enlightenment. Or so I thought untill the next day. Never have I felt such shame such utter hatred for myself! Why? the question burrowed in my brain over and over Why? How? did I let it come to this? The answers i seek can't be found in a vile nor can they be found in the bottle. Then why do I seek them there? People dont change unless thay want to and that ever needed change that in which i seek doesnt seem to come easy Nothing worth while should come easy right? Confusion so much confusion.................................................

A spark ignights! That yellow,oranage,flickering hue.... 

Casting cool,suttel,shadows upon stone wall...

We breath benith darkened skys as our essence mingels with night..

A tepting,sultry,summer. Sexuality,lingering in heated air...

           The Bubble That I Blew For Her

I had a pet fairy once you know, she was pretty, she was sweet, she kept herself neat. Gwen was her name its quite pretty Im told. My thoughts often wander to that chill day. The day of the bubble that i blew for her.

It was rainy, it was bleak as much as she tried she couldnt speak. She needed a place to stay dry but was kinda shy. It was then that the bubble i blew for her came into play. For she needed a place to safley stay.

The bubble extended high above her head and was soft under her delicate feet. Her wings glistened in the breaking light, Her eyes did shine playfully bright she was truely a delight in the buble that i blew for her.

She streched out her wings one to each side and she started to glide higher and higher untill she touched the sky. Then in the blink of an eye it was over..The bubble popped! Its droplets glistened my dear fairy did fall, she tumbeled and yelled! I lost her that day all because of the bubble that i blew for her.

Nowadays i just sit in my room and create, what do i make? Oh how silly you know. I blow bubbles i do BIG ones, little ones, FFAATT ones, an skinney ones but none of them stay they all just pop in the wink of an eye and im forced to remember the day that started it all the day of the bubble that i blew for her...................................................................

Look beneith transpariancy can you see it? Another day, another way for him to say he loves her. Alas a chance encounter beneith the stars. Midnight cool and passive. lingering laughter in salty air, the ocean breaking softly. Like loving whispers benith heated sheets. The sweetness of her smile, Imagine a taste of honey upon rose lips, for he may never know. Another day, another way for him to say he loves her. Alas their chance encounter...........................